Our lives are a reflection of our how we feel about and what we believe of ourselves. It’s often times easier to look around and see a world in chaos and blame that for the issues in our own lives. The problem with that is it is not only false, that belief also keeps you powerless because so long as the problems are “Someone else’s fault”… You can’t do a darn thing to fix them. It’s immobilizing and can be life halting.
Often times when we end up in a bad situation, whatever it may be, the easiest thing is to point the finger and declare that “I cannot believe so and so did this to me!” In reality, every situation, no matter how screwed up is self-created and at the very least co-created with that other party.
That fact has been a tough one to face at times in my own life as I have gotten into some precarious situations I would far rather have owned no part of the responsibility in. Ultimately though, no one got me there but me. Likewise, no one else could get me back.
Self-sabotage is never done purposefully and rarely even consciously. It is very often done in the name of self-sacrifice and in an attempt to help or save other people. The intent is viewed as good, even at times altruistic. After all, who on earth would want to make bad decisions for themselves that would harm their life and well-being? No one.
Subconsciously, however, is a whole other ball of wax. Underneath this outer veneer we show the world, and often times ourselves, lies our base primal thoughts and programming. They are what drive us on an instinctual reaction based level.
What phrases or words do you hear in your mind? What thoughts do you think repetitively? They can be things said by parents, friends, enemies, random strangers, whomever. It can even be opinions you have formed about yourself over time… certain thoughts and core level beliefs are there, ingrained and stuck on loop.
Are you holding on to anger, resentment, fear? If you find yourself constantly in a state of feeling like your life is out of control and going in the wrong direction, I can almost guarantee you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself.
How do you change that?
Being brave enough and caring about yourself enough to want to heal is the first step. Being open to facing yourself, truthfully, come what may, is vital. There are no right or wrong answers or feelings here. Like life, it’s all just a learning and growing experience. We are all perfect in our own unique state of imperfection. We are works in progress and self-acceptance which leads to self-love is key.
I have read tons of articles that seem to believe that you can change your behaviors based purely in purposely correcting your thoughts. While I view this as helpful, unless you can root out the core of where that thought came from in the first place and release it I don’t see how it can ever truly be healed. That approach seems more like a bandaid than some good stitches and soothing salve.
One of the best courses I have found on this subject is a DailyOm.com course by the late Debbie Ford. “Overcoming self-sabotage” is an 8 week audio meditation course that helps you to relax and access easily the information from within that you are looking for.
Click Here for the course if you are interested
Topics covered are:
- Overcoming Self Sabotage
- Taking Inventory of Your Biggest Life Lessons
- Breaking Through Toxic Emotions
- Discovering Your Unmet Needs
- Breaking the Trance of Denial
- Maybe You’re Just Hurt
- Uncovering Unconscious Patterns
- Feeling Safe in the Face of Fear
- The Destruction of Hidden Rage
- Are Your Excuses Keeping You Stuck?
- The Gifts of Standing in Your Power
- The Sacred State of Surrender
- Making Peace with Your Pain
- Healing the Split Between Ego and Spirit
I did this course myself several years back and was amazed at things that came up I was still holding onto that I had thought I had long gotten over.
Set your intent to allow the release of all that is no longer serving your best and highest good, with ease and grace.
Let the old fall away and make room for a new better life and a new happier you.
Originally Published: http://www.ibmsmasters.com/component/content/article/15-profiles/32-sarahbarendse
Author: Sarah Barendse