By Hilde Larsen
We are all humans, seekers, so impatient and eager to feel the buzz. To experience what I believe is at the core of our every desire. -Happiness.
Yet LIFE happens to all of us.
The life that doesn’t feel like happy at all. Bringing days where all you want to do is to crawl back under the covers, or weeks you want to delete from the calendar. Oh yes, been there.
Now, the challenge is to stay GRATEFUL when life hits you like a truck from behind. When you feel everything just piles up. When one thing happens on top of another, and it feels like enough is enough. When your life is showing you where to look, the challenge is to do so without resistance. Allowing the crappy to give meaning and nurture growth.
One of the experiences I learned the most from, were my darkest times. And I say times, as there are more than one.
I used to run from them, to see if I could skip having to FEEL what was going on. Or maybe I could forget or have a cognac like my Doctor used to say. Yeah, that was my Doc. We were the perfect match. 😀
I have had my share of walking through darkness, believe me, crying my eyes and heart out for what felt like years. Lost and struggling, searching for one thing: How the heck to feel better and get my life back!
I felt so deprived. Irritated and angry, helpless, hopeless and lost. Sure, I did, I mean, when you have had to give up your business, when friends stop calling, no knocking on the door, no immediate family support, you KNOW what lost feels like. You know not all days are happy.
What I DID understand fairly quickly though was that I was not a victim, I was the solution. Yes, I was the key to everything. Good, bad, ugly and magnificent. First and foremost, in my mind. In my way of thinking and feeling. In my way of acting, my faith or lack thereof. My outlook, my spiritual connection and my willingness to change. All me. Painfully me.
What I found hardest was to let go of how I saw ME, and what I wanted my future to be. I was the achiever, the always helpful servant. The athletic energetic ongoing battery. And now, flat. I felt of no use. Being so sick I could not leave my house and bed, what value did I have? I felt, not many, not to anyone.
You see, we LOVE to hang on to what we have, and we love to figure out how it SHOULD be. How it HAS been and MUST be. It`s all we know, and I learned my lesson of change the hard way.
You see, when I was bedridden, all I wanted was to get healthy.
Off course, right? All I wanted was to get healthy right now. Just let me get this done and over with. I was asking for healing and happiness. I worked towards that goal every single day. From the time I opened my eyes until I went back to sleep, I studied and practiced towards that one goal.
“Show me the way, thank you for this healing.” But you see, I had no idea how grand that wish was. I wanted complete healing, yet I believed that meant to feel symptom-free, just like that, and that was it.
I had asked for something that would take many, many, years to accomplish, even though I am not sure it is ever accomplished. Still, it took me years to realize the full extent of my wish, and the perfection in the way that it unfolded.
The Universe was guiding me and giving me exactly what I wished for, and more. I didn’t know better. How could I know what perfect health and healing would look like?
I had never experienced it. I had no perception of how and the when. All I had was the ego that wanted out of pain, and the control freak inside of me that wanted it to happen in a certain way.
What we need to fulfill our dream and mission might not always be what we believe and expect it to be. Our perception is limited, and our vision is not clear. How would we know? We have never experienced it before. How will we know what is the best way for anything to unfold?
This is why we have trust and faith.
My life was always a blessing, even though I couldn’t see it.
My path was always perfect, although I believed otherwise at the time.
The book from HELL to Inspired chronicles my experience through what I perceived as hell. What we as humans believe is a nightmare. We cannot embrace the full and clear picture. How could we?
The possibilities are infinite, and we are often too caught up in the outcome to notice appreciate the experience in the now moment.
Not until I was well into saving my life, back to being able to take some very short walks, fully educated as a Health and Mindset Coach, could I see that everything was happening at the perfect time for me.
And still, I have crappy days.
Like we all do.
The difference is I no longer need to know how to feel better.
I can trust and be mindful of the messages.
I was crazy attached to the outcome. A control-freak.
Trying to fix everything.
from the state of fear.
For years I couldn’t grasp the concept. Not care about the outcome? Should I not give a damn if I got well or not? What was the use in working so diligently and hard, all day every day, with a one hundred percent focus, if I was not to care if I made it or not?
I know, hard to wrap the mind around.
The energy is this:
There is a big difference between not caring about the outcome and letting go of it. When we let go of any type of control we allow what is best for us to enter. Letting go of the outcome means that we need to surrender to the process and not hold on to any idea or fear about when and how things will happen but stay in faith and trust that it IS happening. We have to step aside, get out of the way and let the spirit work through us and for us.
There are no rejections, only redirection.
Life is never working against us, but for us. If you are sick, of ill health, emotionally hurting, do what you need to do to allow your body to heal, and step aside. Let it happen. Don´t get mental about it. You will lose yourself and cling to an outcome that might not even be the one you think it should be.
Letting go of the outcome is not the same as leaving everything to chance. It is not about not having to actually do what needs to be done. It has everything to do with just that, and then let it go.
Now, focus on you and your life and health only, on healthy thoughts and activities, on happy feelings and what makes you feel good. As long as you stay with it, change will come, at the perfect time for you. As long as you keep your focus on building your life, one day at the time, keeping your schedule, always stretching and advancing, the results you want will come. Life has your back, and as we live we learn.
We use the phrase “to chase our dream” as if chasing anything is a great idea. Why would we try to run after anything? It will feel like a chase when we hang on to control. Controlling is the opposite of allowing. We cannot forcefully make anything happen. It represents trouble.
By practicing different meditations and stillness techniques, journaling and mindfulness, you can work on your ability to walk lighter and more fluent through life. The less you hold on to, the lighter your steps will be. The less you are occupied with an outcome, the more capable you will be to expand your perspective. We have been deceived by our life long conditioning.
There is no way I could have imagined a life like this. Walking barefoot on the beach, teaching YOU how to become the best version of YOU. Showing you how your mindset is holding you back, even though your focus on the outcome, your fears, and your dreams.
There is no way I could have seen this coming, as it was not at all on my radar. I allowed it to happen. Through embracing the full journey. The deep healing that comes from letting go, forgiving, gratitude, self-love and trust in the divine.
I still had to take physical action, but I didn’t have to force myself into a box that was never there. I am passionate about using the physical body, stretching to see what we CAN do. What we CAN achieve, and so far it has blown my mind! Having fun is something that requires action, but as you can see from my picture, it doesn’t take much. Any day is a good day to start.
To release your inner child, and also to allow all of your expressions.
Heck, when I am angry, I will let it out. Keeping anything in will obstruct your flow. Acidify your body. Clutter your amazingness.
Not every day is a happy day.
Just LIVE it!